Not the Workout of My Life

Hi guys and dolls,

Sorry this isn’t really a very Jane-related post, I just fancied having a bit of a moan. I bought the Clubland: The Workout of Your Life DVD recently, and after moving into a much lighter, bigger apartment this week, I decided I finally had the space to check it out last night. Right, so I’ve done workout DVDs before (Yoga, aerobics, that Hip Hop dance one was good…oh and how could I forget Carmen Electra’s Striptease) which were all fairly straightforward with some overly good-looking instructor explaining everything in a perfectly coherent and calmly-paced manner, so I was expecting this one to be just as easy to follow. Silly me.

Suddenly without any warning, strobe lights were flashing and a bunch of depressingly hot girls in tiny gold latex bikinis were taking me through the “warm-up”. Wait, isn’t the warm up supposed to be the easy bit?? Every stretch was coordinated with some ridiculous over-flamboyant and complicated turn or spaghetti-legged 2-step, so before I’d finished doing the “double gyration side sweep”, they were already gracefully body bopping into something else. Seriously, I’ve always considered myself a pretty hawt dancer, so the fact I was struggling to even get passed level one was starting to rub my fur the wrong way. I stopped flailing about and watched the metallic strippers in front of me. Show-offs. It’s alright for you bitches with your pre-practiced chorography, weeks of preparation and cool outfits. Well. I’m not getting a good workout and I’m certainly not having fun. One switch of the remote and 4Music greeted me like a warm cuddle – sit-ups and squats to Lady Gaga seemed like a piece of cake right now. Epic fail Clubland. Back to eBay you go.